A NEW NORMAL

 
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… and all of the feelings that have come with 2020.

We’re a little past the halfway mark in 2020, and I know i’m not alone when I say that this year has had about 97 emotions wrapped up into 8 months. It’s been exhausting, confusing, scary, uncomfortable, cruel, eye opening, sad, divisive and stressful, to say the least. It’s been a LONG 8 months. And for me personally, the one thing I’ve tried extremely hard to do this year, is to show gratitude and have faith - even when it feels impossible. I’ve been very fortunate in regards to myself and my family remaining healthy and safe, in the midst of so much pain, chaos and heartbreak that others have had to endure. I know that there are people seriously struggling every single day due to a tragedy, losing loved ones, experiencing injustice of some kind, dealing with trauma, etc. So showing gratitude is something that I feel is very significant and powerful right now, but also something that I can easily lose sight of if I’m not being intentional with my thoughts. 

Am I saying I don’t have days where I feel defeated or overwhelmed? Absolutely not. I have them more often than I’d like to admit. Do I think we should just mask our emotions because we don’t “have it as hard as someone else”? Definitely not. I think we should all be allowed to FEEL during this season. I kinda think it would be weird if everyone hasn’t been personally affected in some way, given all of the crazy things that have gone on this year. I meant what I said at the beginning of this post - 2020 has unfolded layers and layers of emotions (about 97 of them). Which is why a new normal for me (that I’m still working on everyday), is choosing to be intentional with my thoughts. Because, wow, it could be so easy to get sucked into all of the negativity around us. It could be so easy to focus on the bad things, the anxiety, the stress, the unknown, or how unbelievably scary our world is. 

I obviously don’t need to replay everything that’s happened this year, but I can’t help but continue to voice my opinion on what’s happening in our country. In my eyes, it’s felt like a lot of back and forth when it comes to racism. Together. Separate. Unity. Division. Stand up for the black community. Stand up for the white community. My perspective vs. your perspective. There’s just so much that’s happening around us, so much light that’s been shed, so many opinions, so much hate, and just an overwhelming sense of division as of lately. Even when it comes to COVID and the laws made to keep people safe - I’ve seen SO much hate spread, just due to the opinions on wearing a mask. That’s crazy to me. At the beginning of this year, especially when COVID was fresh, it seemed like everyone was banning together. Everyone was standing together. Everyone was expressing empathy and understanding and LOVE. It seemed like everywhere you went or everything that was on TV was portraying some form of “we’re all in this together”. It just felt like hope was all around us. Even though horrible things were happening, I still felt hopeful. Now, it feels tense. It feels divided. It feels cold and one sided. It feels insensitive. It feels hateful. It’s just crazy how quickly circumstances can change and how quickly perspectives can change. It’s crazy (and scary) how quickly opinions, biases and mindsets can be formed just from watching something or reading something, that was most likely created by another person’s opinion/perspective. Isn’t that crazy if you think about it?

Social media and the news are powerful things - and if you let it, it can be powerful in a negative way. It can cause you to sit and scroll for hours and hours, doing nothing but filling you with anxiety or confusion. It can form opinions, hate and negativity in your mind. Which is why I think it’s SO necessary to take a break from it if any of that resonates with you. And I wouldn’t blame you. There are so many different perspectives, opinions, stories, arguments, unproductive conversations, etc. and it can become exhausting. It can begin to creep into your daily life, leaving you with feelings of hopelessness and anxiety. All that to say, of course we have to allow ourselves to FEEL and deal with everything going on around us. Of course we have to be aware of what’s going on. Of course we have to continue educating ourselves. Of course we have to speak up for what we believe in. But we also have to form our OWN opinions, based on our own understanding, our own perspectives, our own emotions and our own experiences. We have to realize when we’ve had enough of social media and the negativity that sometimes follows. We have to understand that not everyone is going to agree, and just because someone doesn’t agree, doesn’t mean it needs to be a facebook battle. We have to respect other people’s opinions for what they are and move on - that may mean you don’t communicate with them anymore. Do what you gotta do. But there are SO many things that we could feel negative about right now, so many people we could “feel some typa way” about. There are probably hundreds of opinions that we probably don’t agree with. Not to mention, all the different political views and opinions that are flooding our timelines and feeds. But we can’t allow all of that to have power over our own lives and affect us in such a negative, hateful way. 

I think before this year, there were a lot of “normal” things that weren’t right. Things that maybe weren’t seen, weren’t made out to be a big deal, or weren’t worth the fight. But I can never go back to how things were, and I’m hopeful that others feel the same. 

Because of 2020 I have some “new normals” - things that wouldn’t have been so important to me if it weren’t for all of the chaos this year has brought. I’m working on them everyday and trying my hardest to create new habits, new perspectives and new normals.

NEW NORMALS” for me:

Continuing to build my faith and trusting God through all circumstances - my faith hasn’t always been a priority. It’s always been part of who I am, but it hasn’t always led my life or the decisions I make. I have so much more growing and learning to do, but I’m so proud of where I am right now. This year has allowed me the time to grow and mature in that area, in a way that is so necessary for my own personal journey. My faith has been the source of so much strength that I never knew I had, it’s been the encouragement that I need in this season and it’s given me the ability to extend grace to those that need it. 

Being intentional with my time - just to name a few ways I’ve been working on this: taking time away from social media; making sure I'm present when I’m with my daughter, my friends or my family; reading in my free time rather than watching tv; working on my photography and allowing myself the time to be creative.

Standing up against racism, injustice & inequality - before this year, I didn’t use my voice in the ways that I could have been. I stood back. I didn’t want any “conflict”. I didn’t realize my strength, and how powerful my voice was, but now that’s something I’ll always have with me. I will continue to educate myself, continue to learn and continue to use my voice in regards to racism and injustice. Some of it has been uncomfortable - but 1000% necessary.  

Appreciating the little things and the people in my circle - It’s so easy to take for granted the people you love and the time you have with them. And it’s so easy to always WANT - we want things to open back up, we want new clothes or shoes, we want to have the freedom of not wearing a mask (don’t we all), we want to go shopping, etc. - but there’s SO much goodness in our day to day lives that we completely overlook. This may sound cheesy, but having people around you that love you and care about you and want the best for you is SO special and oftentimes unappreciated. And the same goes for the little things that we don’t always “want” or see or value. 

Showing kindness and not expecting something in return - I can say that I’ve been guilty of doing something nice for someone, but then waiting around to see if they were going to say thank you or return the favor. Guilty. But man, that perspective is so wrong. First of all, I know that God expects us to show others the same type of kindness and grace that He’s shown us with JOY. Which means, doing something for someone because we want to; because we know that it will bring that person happiness. Second of all, 2020 has shown me that EVERYONE is struggling in some way, and if I have the means to help someone out or bring someone a little joy, I absolutely should. 

Always being open to gratitude, even when it seems difficult to do - Sometimes it may seem unimportant (or even impossible)… but it truly shifts your perspective and allows some light in when everything seems so dark. The world is scary and there are countless things that have the potential to make us feel defeated or negative, but what/who can we show gratitude towards today? “Being grateful isn’t diminishing the reality, it’s an avenue that leads to new levels of faith and trust despite what’s going on around us.” - Taylor Madu

Accepting differences - different views, experiences, backgrounds, opinions, and stories of others - like I mentioned earlier, there are so many different opinions and views that don’t need to be taken personally. *If someone is attacking you or your race or your family, of course that’s a different story.* But it’s important to realize and be open to the fact that everyone has experienced different things in their life, which forms their own personal opinion and perspective. It doesn’t mean we have to fight back with hate if we don’t agree.

Allowing time for myself and extending grace to myself - (let me point out that I don’t have much time to myself, because ya know mom life, but when I do I’ve been making more of an effort in these areas) - taking better care of myself, physically and mentally; taking the time to heal or grieve or deal with unresolved pain; taking the time to rest if that’s what I feel is necessary; being more consistent with working out (but also giving myself grace if I had an off week); allowing time for myself to be creative and utilize the gifts I’ve been given; understanding that it’s okay to have off days and hard days. 

Having hope and optimism - this is something I pray we all can contribute to in some way, small or big. If not, this world and this country will continue to be full of hate, division, and negativity. Things are ugly right now and seem so divided, but I’m hopeful that this year will be a year of permanent changes in the areas that need it. I’m hopeful that different groups of people can come together and learn to understand each other better. I’m hopeful that people will spread less hate. I’m hopeful that the future generations will not have to experience or witness what we have. 

All of those are things that I’m still working on, but will continue to make a priority because I don’t want to go back to the old “normal”. So 2020, just FYI, you haven’t won. There are things from this year that can be viewed in a positive light and things that have helped me grow personally. Maybe some of you can relate, and maybe there are some of you that are working on finding the positives form this year. Both are understandable. This year has been one we’ll never forget; a year that has come with so many changes; a year that has been extremely challenging and uncomfortable. So it’s understandable if you’ve felt overwhelmed this year. It’s okay if you’ve felt anxious. It’s okay if you’ve felt angry. Allow yourself to feel, to grieve, to heal, and to not be okay some days. But also keep your heart and your mind open to what you can be grateful for and the “new normals” that can come from this year. 

with love,

ciarra


 
 
Ciarra Criddle1 Comment