lately

Hey beautiful people! This has been a WILD month or so, to say the least. A month that feels like it’s gone so slow and has been very up and down. And with being at home so much, under different circumstances than normal, I just wanted to share what I’ve been up to lately and how I’ve been handling everything. So this journal post is (mostly) going to be a little highlight reel over the last month. I even created a collage at the end that I love way more than I thought I would, filled with pictures I’ve taken and memories we’ve made - so if nothing else, scroll down and take a look.

But I do want to say a few things in regards to our current crisis - I know that we’re all in the midst of a very uncertain, scary time, and it’s hard to process through the different emotions that I’m sure we’ve all been experiencing. But I just hope and pray that everyone has been able to find a glimmer of light and hope. It might seem hard - or even a little unfair - to feel hopeful or positive, which is completely understandable. But I think that in order to make it through this without feeling completely negative or isolated or fearful or anxious, is to TRY to allow yourself to let some light in. Whatever that may look like. And something that I think we all need to keep in mind is this - it’s OKAY if people process and handle this pandemic differently. It’s also okay if YOU handle it differently, depending on the day or the week. This is something that’s effecting our normal routines, our work schedules, our resources, our families, and our emotions in a dramatic way. So, yeah, you may feel extremely positive one day, ready to take on the world - you get through your work for the day (whether from your home or at your job), you knock out your to-do list, maybe do a workout, cook a nice dinner and keep the silver lining of this quarantine in the front of your mind. But if you have a day like I’m sure most of us have, that’s full of doubt and questions and sadness because of all of this - you don’t workout, you miss your friends and family, you don’t have the energy you did the day before, you don’t feel like you’ve accomplished much, you order takeout or eat frozen pizza, you may or may not drink a glass of wine before 4 o’clock - THAT’S ALL OKAY and very normal, given the circumstances. I just wanted everyone to remember that and be mindful of the fact that although we’re all handling this differently and being effected differently, we’re all dealing with the same thing. If you haven’t read my previous post “Stronger Together”, you can check it out here. I go more in depth about all things COVID19 -- how we can all be doing our part, why it’s important to focus on what we can control, how we can find positivity and peace, and ways we can all be helping each other get through this because WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

I’ve been staying at home full time with Kyndrik since she was born (two years in June - SO many emotions about that, but that’s another story), so this whole quarantined/social distancing life may not seem like a big deal or much of a change for me, but it’s been difficult adjusting just like it has been for everyone else. I felt like we were FINALLY starting to get into a routine for Kyndrik and I was for myself as well -- she was in swim lessons and doing SO well, we were having play dates pretty regularly with my other mama friends (who I miss like crazy), and Kyndrik was getting to spend 1-2 days every week with her great grandparents while I worked out or worked on photography. So it’s been a big adjustment when it comes to Kyndrik and I’s schedule. And at first, that wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t think much of it. But over the last week or so, I’ve been struggling with the pressure that comes with raising an almost 2 year old, at home 24/7, and trying to make sure she’s getting everything she needs developmentally. I’m not gonna lie, the anxiety has been real in that area. With her not being around any other kids, any other humans besides me and her dad, not having any other social interactions - it’s been a challenge. She’s solely relying on US for her learning (mostly me, because Jordan is still working) and the resources I provide for her. Which is a crazy thought and has caused quite a bit of stress and pressure, but it also reminds me of how valuable my job is. It reminds me everyday of the impression I’m making on her and how important that is, especially during this time. She watches everything I do and it’s my job to remember how powerful that is. So more then learning her colors, or letters, or animals, I want to make sure I’m using this time to teach her how to love big, to be creative, to have confidence, to pray, to love her hair and her skin, to be proud of herself, to be strong (which she has no problem with), to dance without hesitation, to be kind and show compassion. And I have to remember - as long I’m doing everything I can to love her, provide for her, and instill those characteristics in her, I can release some of the pressure I’ve been feeling in regards to her learning what she needs to and developing the skills she needs to. It will come. And that goes for ALL the mamas reading this. We’re all doing much better than we give ourselves credit for.

Also, if you know me at all, this won’t come as a shock - I spend A LOT of time with my family (parents, siblings and grandparents). Under normal circumstances, I probably am around my family 1-2 times per week, sometimes more. So having to adjust to only seeing them over FaceTime or Zoom has been a challenge and something I’m still getting used to. It’s also been super hard not allowing Kyndrik to be around her grandparents (or great grandparents), and I’m hoping that will change sometime in the near future. But for now, we’re just extremely grateful for technology. Think about if this pandemic would have happened before FaceTime and Zoom and all the other ways we communicate with our loved ones - I can’t imagine the sadness we would all be feeling. So if you’re needing something to be appreciative of today, there it is. Even though we can’t physically see our families as much as we’d like to or maybe not at all, we still have the technology to “see” them whenever we want. And that is a beautiful thing.

I will say this - with all of the adjustments and changes, with the unknowns and questions, with the anxiety and challenges - I have definitely learned to appreciate and find more joy in the little things than I could have ever imagined. I’ve always been a person who values the small moments, but it’s to a whole new level. Just walking outside brings me peace. FaceTiming with my family. Having date nights at home. Going on walks with Kyndrik. Dancing around the house. Going for a ride in the car with the windows down. A simple text to or from my friends, just checking in. Zooming with my connect group. Being able to workout from home (something that I actually hated doing before all of this). There are so many “little” things - things I might not have appreciated as much before - that are bringing me so much joy and gratitude during all of this.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think many of the things we are “missing'“ right now (myself included), could be seen as distractions. And now we’re all, in a way, being pushed into appreciating the small things. Going to the movies, restaurants, bars, shopping, etc. - without those places and only being able to go where you NEED to, it’s allowed us to focus on the people and the things that are right in front of us. Honestly, it might be bringing to the surface things that you needed to figure out or focus on a long time ago - with relationships, with yourself, with your faith, with your family, with your kids. It might be bringing to light things that you felt like you “needed” to make you happy and you may be working through that. It might be bringing attention to areas in your life that you have been neglecting or pushing to the back burner. There are so many distractions in our lives that are now not even an option - and it MAY not be completely negative. That’s all I’m sayin. I miss wandering the Target aisles, I miss going to happy hours at restaurants, I miss being able to take Kyndrik places for playdates, I miss going to the movie theatre for our dates - trust me, I miss those places just like anyone else. But again, I think that if we can all try to find the silver lining, it will bring so much more joy and get rid of some of the negativity that’s filling our minds.

Lastly, I’m just going to share what else I’ve been doing to keep busy. I’ve actually been asked this by a few people, so I figured I’d end with that. Hopefully, some of them can be useful and you can add them to your “quarantine list” if you have one.

photography — I’ve been taking A LOT more pictures of our day to day lives on my camera. If you know me, you know that I take an unhealthy amount of pictures as it is. The number of pictures on my phone’s camera roll is wild. And since I haven’t been able to use my camera for photographing couples/families like normal, I figured I’d put it to use around the house. And I’m so glad I have. All of the pictures below are from the last month, and they hold so many memories. It’s been one of my favorite things to do lately. And I know not everyone has a camera, but we all have smart phones that take pretty decent pictures. I’m a big advocate for taking pictures in general, as that’s something we’ll always have - but especially now! Get creative and take some pictures during all of this craziness. I promise you won’t regret it.

getting outside — I’ve been going on a walk with Kyndrik everyday (unless it’s rainy or freezing). If I’m feeling negative or sad that day, it instantly improves my mood and it’s helped so much. The fresh air and sunlight have been very necessary for me during this time. So if you aren’t already - try and take a walk or get outside every day, even if it’s just for a short period of time. And if you have children, that’s even more of a reason!

reading/journaling — Currently, I’m reading “Crash the Chatterbox” by Steven Furtick. In short, it’s about getting rid of the negative thoughts you have and hearing God’s voice above everything else. It challenges you to focus on who God says you are, rather than the lies you’ve started to believe due to insecurities, doubt, fear and discouragement. I’m only about halfway through, but I would definitely recommend it for anyone struggling in that area. I also have been starting each day with prayer, journaling, and reading the bible - which has been, by far, the most important thing I’ve done for myself. I’ve made sure to challenge myself in regards to what I’m doing with my free time, and I want to make sure that I’m not spending all my free time on social media, watching tv, etc. And I know not everyone likes to read or write, but I definitely think it’s important to find something to spend time on that’s going to better yourself in some way.

exercising — I’ve been working out 2-3 times per week. Last week, I didn’t at all because potty training is REAL guys (don’t worry I’ll get to that). But I’ve actually enjoyed working out at home, way more than I thought I would. I used to hate working out at home - if I was going to workout, it was going to be at the gym. But I’ve learned to appreciate it and actually like it. My husband is doing a strength program, which includes pull-ups, pushups and a whole bunch of craziness - and I’ve been somewhat following it. He’s going to love that I’m saying this, but I actually feel like I’ve gained more strength doing those workouts at home, than I was the previous month while at the gym. We were also going to track before it got shut down, and that was also a fun way to get some exercise in. Whatever type of workout you’re doing, I definitely think dedicating 2-3 days per week is necessary, it’s beneficial, and it’ll definitely boost your mood.

at home date nights — Jordan and I have had a lot of fun getting creative with our dates. We’ve obviously been spending so much quality time together (as I’m sure most spouses have been), but we dedicate Friday nights to be our “date nights”. We were actually doing this before being quarantined, but now it’s forced us to be creative and appreciate at-home dates. Here are a couple of ideas - some we’ve already done, some are on our list to do still. Have a game night with drinks, bake a dessert together, rent a movie and have snacks, build a fort or a pallet on the living room floor and watch movies, create a tiktok, get dressed up and take some pictures or have a fancy dinner. Just get creative!

“Uplifting Through Uncertainty” — It’s only been 3 weeks, but I’ve been trying to spread a little positivity by uplifting each other during these uncertain times. If you follow me on IG, you can see all the details for that and participate if you’d like. But the point of it is to show love and support towards one another, in a time when we need it most. So each week (again, potty training got me off track last week), I’m choosing a group of people to uplift in hopes of spreading some light and good vibes. Obviously your “spreading of light” doesn’t have to look like mine, but I’ve found that to be very necessary for me during all of this. It’s kept me busy, it’s made me feel like I’m doing something good, and it’s given me something to look forward to each week. So if you haven’t already, try and do something this week that brings someone else positivity or joy.

potty training — This is obviously not something that I’m sharing to help with ideas, but I couldn’t help myself. Kyndrik will be 2 in June, and with all the time we’ve had on our hands, I figured we would give it a try because it was about that time anyways. We started last Sunday, April 5th, so it’s been almost 2 weeks. And I’m seriously SO PROUD OF HER. I don’t know when the title “fully potty trained” is appropriate, but I would say she’s about 90%. I never knew how much joy I’d get from my daughter telling me she has to go to the bathroom (by actions right now) and then actually going on her little potty. The first couple days were ROUGH, but she caught on so quickly and I’m just so freaking proud of her. See below for some cute undie pics. I swear, seeing her wear those makes me even more obsessed with her. If you don’t have kids, you’ll understand one day.