I was talking with a friend the other day, and it made me think deeper on something that has been on my mind lately. Something that I think we all can benefit from hearing because it relates to almost every single soul out there. So to me, kindness and judgement go hand in hand. And those two things have been on my mind a lot, both from my perspective and others. How often do we see a certain situation or see a person doing something that we don’t agree with/understand/relate to, and we judge SO quickly? I am guilty of this, 100%. With this post, I am leaning more towards the judgement and lack of kindness when we witness someone acting a certain way - there are way too many situations where judgement is our go-to, and I’m sure I will discuss those eventually.
I think judging someone, their actions or their situation is becoming so common that people don’t even think anything of it; people don’t tell you it’s wrong or make you think twice, because it’s the norm. When in reality, we have absolutely no idea what the person next to us is going through. We have no idea what may have caused them to feel the way they do. We have no idea of the pain they are in. And as humans, we have to do better and have to start thinking about that with each person we meet. Something as simple as a server at a restaurant who wasn’t very pleasant and should have been because *that’s their job, right?* - we don’t know what may have happened in their lives recently that could have them feeling depressed, upset, hurt, anxious, among so many other possible emotions… we just see the server that seemed rude and they shouldn’t have. This is something to think about not only with strangers, but with people close to you, people you work with, your children, your spouse…everyone is struggling or dealing with anxiety or in pain or grieving or feeling insecure.
When I was teaching in the classroom and we had a student with a behavior issue, or I had a student in my classroom upset that day or they were acting out, the FIRST thing I - and any other teacher - did was ask that student or try to figure out how their morning went at home or if something went on earlier in the day or week. I was kind and gentle in my approach with them because it was apparent that they were going through something internally. 9 times out of 10, there was some other outside factor that was causing them to react the way they were. And I’m sure if you’ve been in any sort of background involving children, patients, etc., this sounds familiar to you. We don’t automatically assume they are just angry, sad, rude or impatient just because they feel like it or they want us to have a horrible day. But I have started to ask myself, why do we not do the same for adults?? Not that we have to go up to a stranger and ask them how their morning went, but why are we so quick to judge someone’s behavior or actions without putting any thought into what they may be going through? Why is it so hard for us, as adults, to show kindness to someone who may have just rubbed us the wrong way?
Kindness and judging go hand in hand - and if we would all make an effort to judge less (WAY less) and realize that we are all going through something, this world could be such a better place. We are all out here struggling everyday. So instead of judging someone and how they may have made you feel in the moment, show them kindness and empathy- I promise it would make their day better in some way. We all struggle, we’re all human, we all hurt, and we’re all more alike than we think.
