2020

a new year. a new decade. a new start. a new perspective.

a collection of pictures from 2010 until now, just for fun —
all of my favorite people in one slideshow. enjoy <3

Rather than just looking at 2019, i’ve been reflecting on the 2010’s - how 10 years ago, i had just started college that fall. A freshman who just turned 18. With my mindset consisting of basketball, my new friends/teammates and my family. If i were to introduce my current self to the girl i was back then, i don’t think i would recognize her. I’m a woman now, who has changed in ways the “girl” wouldn’t even be able to imagine. The 2010’s made me into the strong, brave, passionate, resilient person that i never knew i’d become. The 2010’s also revealed that I had no idea who i was meant to be, the impact i was supposed to make, or what my purpose was - but how many people do at that point? Fresh out of high school, in college, loving someone in a real way for the first time, and experiencing things that are outside of what’s “normal” or comfortable… That was me. I was pretty naive, i gave away my trust way too fast in relationships, i wasn’t independent, i was 17 when i started college (so young, naive, immature emotionally, all that 17-year-old stuff), i hadn’t gone through many things that were super painful. But this decade has molded me into the woman that God always knew i’d be. And just as the happy, fun, memorable moments have made a lasting impact on my current self, so have the imperfect, hard, uncertain moments.

I learned that it’s okay, and probably inevitable, to lose friends. I realized how physically and mentally tough i was through 3 ACL tears. I learned that making mistakes is a part of life and it’s how you grow and learn from them that matters. I learned that when you’re 17, 18, 19, it’s okay to not know what you’re doing. I learned that i love hard. I realized that your circle gets way smaller and that’s not a bad thing. I learned that showing loyalty doesn’t mean you get it in return.
I traveled and roadtripped more times than i can count. I attended a lot of concerts. I lost close friends, but gained lifelong friends. I met my best friend and husband (in 2010- crazy). We got our wild pup, barkley. I pursued my career as a teacher. We got married and had the best dance party with all of our closest people. I experienced a love unlike anything else when i gave birth to our beautiful baby girl. I left teaching after 4 years to stay home and raise our daughter. I started my own photography business. Launched a website. Photographed around 15 weddings from 2017-2019. I discovered my passion for motherhood and boudoir photography. I experienced a very difficult season and through that, i began loving myself and realizing my purpose - and instead of breaking, I transformed. I also found a relationship with God, in a way that i hadn’t experienced, and needed more than i knew.

As i look back, the 2010’s were fun and full of moments i’ll always carry with me. But this year- this decade- will bring more joy, transformation and love than i could have imagined as my 18-year-old self.

I’m choosing to release the things that have been my crutch in the past. I’m releasing things and people that make me feel unloved. I’m choosing to release the parts of me that have held me back. I’m choosing to believe that people can change for the better. I’m releasing toxic people, relationships and thoughts. I’m releasing fear and insecurities. I’m choosing to forgive. I’m releasing complacency and comparison. I’m releasing the feeling of needing approval of others. I’m choosing to allow myself to heal and transform. I’m releasing the feeling of needing to seem okay when i’m experiencing a difficult season.

I’m finding my power and i’m finally starting to feel like ME - who i’m supposed to be, who i need to be and who i deserve to be. I’ve found so much strength buried deep down that i had no idea could come out. And none of that would have showed itself if i hadn’t gone through the good, bad, happy, sad and difficult times of the past decade.